Are your allergies so bad that your face is like a running faucet turned on full blast and no amount of natural or pharmaceutical remedies can help you?
Does snot fall out of your nose and onto the floor when you look down to say hi to your cats? Right on the floor. Plop. Snot puddle.
Is water gushing from your red, swollen eyes and down your puffy face so uncontrollably that a stranger on the subway ride home from work whispered, “do you need help?” to you, just like that time the lady doing your nails asked if you needed “a safe place to go” because she mistook the scratches and bruises left on your arms to be the result of a horrific domestic dispute instead of what they really were – the result of adopting a brand new kitten whose #1 hobby was people climbing?
Well, I the answer for you!
Okay, no. No I don’t. But I can show you what’s getting me through it right now in this very moment.
Trader Joe’s Coconut Milk Ice Cream.
I am not joking. I would never joke about ice cream. Let’s get that clear.
This won’t alleviate your allergy symptoms but man oh man, it will make you forget all about them for a few splendid moments.
My husband picked up chocolate and strawberry for me.
The label says all the things you love to hear: Vegan, soy-free, no added flavors, colors or preservatives. But let’s cut to the chase. It tastes like heaven. I was a little unsure at first because I thought that the strawberry flavor tasted like the best ice cream ever but you know, my senses are under attack by the allergen fiends so I didn’t know if it was my real taste buds or my benadryl-coated taste buds talking. So I asked my husband if he liked it and with the ice cream still in his mouth he nodded vigorously and said, “Oow mah gaw yef.” Two thumbs up, my friends.
Look at that. It’s so CREAMY.
Strawberry is definitely my #1. Chocolate is also good but the strawberry owns a piece of my heart now. It also owns a piece of my expanding thighs, but we’ll deal with that when we feel better, won’t we?
Ice cream first. Multiple warrior poses later. Pass the Kleenex, please. I’m running low.